


Doubt

by rabidsamfan



Series: Cogitations [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst, Gen, Reichenbach Fall, spoiler - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-16
Updated: 2012-01-16
Packaged: 2017-10-29 15:37:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/321462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rabidsamfan/pseuds/rabidsamfan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock has only a moment to think.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Doubt

When Jim put the gun in his mouth, Sherlock knew that there would be no way out. He pushed away from the lunatic, eyes wild, as the gun went off and took with it any hope of coming out of this mess with his life intact.

Yes, he had a backup plan. Of course he'd had a backup plan, but it all depended on _other people_ and none of those people was John.

John.

 _John._

And Mrs. Hudson. And Lestrade. But John most of all, who couldn't be told now, couldn't be in on the game _not that it was a game, not anymore, not that it ever had been a game, just a dance to Moriarty's piping_. Even in death Jim Moriarty would win if John knew, and that would be the end of John. The end of everything.

And if Molly weren't what she seemed, if somehow Moriarty had gotten to any of the people that Sherlock needed to make his backup plan work _and there were too many of them, always too many of them but it couldn't be done with less, no matter how hard he calculated_ then it would be the end anyway, the end of everything _but_ John, and that had to matter, didn't it?

And he'd hesitated too long, thought too much, because that was a cab pulling up, and it was John getting out of it, which meant Mrs. Hudson was all right _of course she was all right_ but now John would be there, John would see and know and it wasn't meant to trick John, not John of all people, but Sherlock wouldn't know, would he, wouldn't know if it was a trick of his or a trick of Moriarty's until he tried it and let gravity take him down and down and down and even if he weren't betrayed, even if everyone who had to be in on the secret was sure and honest and true _as true as John_ then it could still go wrong because gravity always wanted to win and if it won _like Jim_ he'd die.

But there was John. And John had his phone, and Sherlock could do this, could make this work, even if he could see John's face from here, would know what it looked like when he lied to satisfy Moriarty's men, would know what it looked like when he broke John's belief in him, would know what it looked like when he said goodbye, and then he would fall, would make himself fall _would let himself fall_ and John would live.

As long as Moriarty hadn't lied, John would live.

 _Please, God, let him live._


End file.
